


Maybe There Is

by sccfan4ever



Series: Love's to Blame [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Not Beta Read, sorry in advance, this is gonna hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:08:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24882826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sccfan4ever/pseuds/sccfan4ever
Summary: Buck isn't fine.It's been six months. He's back at work on light duty. His team is great. They're not pushing him away. They're making sure he has whatever he needs.But he's still lonely.But he's healing. He's okay.He misses Christopher. He misses Eddie.He knows it's not a coincidence that Eddie left Los Angeles to be closer to his family after he confessed his feelings.He should have known that Eddie wouldn't leave him at the bottom of the ocean. He just didn't expect Eddie to completely leave him behind.
Relationships: Athena Grant/Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Love's to Blame [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1800541
Comments: 30
Kudos: 82





	1. If I say it's all my fault, will you still walk away?

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [More There This](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26940682) by [Alex_Kollins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alex_Kollins/pseuds/Alex_Kollins), [Lacessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacessa/pseuds/Lacessa)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck isn't fine.
> 
> It's been six months. He's back at work on light duty. His team is great. They're not pushing him away. They're making sure he has whatever he needs.
> 
> But he's still lonely. 
> 
> But he's healing. He's okay.
> 
> He misses Christopher. He misses Eddie.
> 
> He knows it's not a coincidence that Eddie left Los Angeles to be closer to his family after he confessed his feelings.
> 
> He should have known that Eddie wouldn't leave him at the bottom of the ocean. He just didn't expect Eddie to completely leave him behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from "People Change" by for King & Country.
> 
> This is a sequel to my previous fic, More Than That. There are references that won't quite make sense if you dont read that one first 🙂

Everything else in his life may have changed in the past couple months, but Eddie's typical morning routine hadn't changed in years. Sure, there were mornings when he didn't have to go in to work, and there were mornings when he wasn't at home due to a 24 hour shift. But most mornings were the same: wake up himself, wake up his son, morning workouts, shower, get dressed, eat breakfast with his son, drop his son off at school, and either go to work or go back home. 

Even now. The only difference is that now his coworkers don't look at him with pity when he arrives. They don't _know_ what happened. They don't _know_ about Buck. And Eddie plans on keeping it that way.

Because as much as it hurts, it makes things easier. 

He goes through the motions. He does his job. He goes home to his son. Things are fine.

They're fine. He's fine.

*****

Buck isn't fine.

It's been six months. He's back at work on light duty. His team is great. They're not pushing him away. They're making sure he has whatever he needs.

But he's still lonely. 

He's still healing. Physically, he's in good shape. Mentally, though... that's an entirely different story. 

His brain was without oxygen for a long time while Eddie dragged him up the 90 feet from the bottom of the ocean to the surface. And that caused some brain damage. Words don't come as easily as they used to, and sometimes his hands don't do what he wants them to.

But he's healing. He's okay.

He misses Christopher. He misses Eddie.

He knows it's not a coincidence that Eddie left Los Angeles to be closer to his family after he confessed his feelings.

He should have known that Eddie wouldn't leave him at the bottom of the ocean. He just didn't expect Eddie to completely leave him behind. 

*****

This earthquake wasn't as big as the one a couple years ago, but it was big enough and it's all hands on deck. Which means that Buck is finally back out in the field, with strict orders not to run into any half-collapsed buildings by himself.

Of course he won't be running into any half-collapsed buildings, he says to himself. This is a half-collapsed bridge.

When the 118 arrived at the bridge, they joined the 127 who had arrived a little earlier. Bobby briefly coordinated with Captain Ames and gave his team their assignments.

"Hen, Chim, they need more paramedics down there," Bobby said. The friends nodded before grabbing harnesses and heading to the edge of the bridge.

"Buck, you're taking over manning the winch from Mathis over there," Bobby continued. "The rest of you, fan out up here and help anyone you can."

Buck sighed and walked over to where Chimney was about to be lowered down. "Mathis, I'm supposed to take over here for you," he said.

Mathis handed over the controls and left Chimney in Buck's hands. "Don't drop me!" Chimney joked as Buck began lowering him down.

Cunningham stood next to Buck, helping as Chimney was lowered over the side. "Have fun down there," she called after him. Chimney just rolled his eyes. 

Buck looked over at his companion. "I'm Buck."

"Rachel."

*****

Earthquakes suck. 

One of the first big things Eddie did with Buck was survive a half-collapsed building after an earthquake. 

Nope. Not thinking about that. I'm fine. It's fine. I can do this.

The Captain Ames's voice brings him back to the present. "Diaz, Simon, O'Reilly, you're going down into the sinkhole. Mathis and Cunningham, I need you on the winch. Everyone else, fan out up here. Help whoever you can. Backup is on the way, but we're on our own for a bit."

The 127 rush into action. At least Eddie has a job to do now, instead of thinking about Buck again.

Eddie spends the next few minutes searching for survivors. "LAFD!" he hears his teammates calling alongside him. "Is anyone down here?" 

Nate finds someone first. Eddie rushes to his side and sees a woman and a man pinned inside their car. "Martha! We could use a hand over here," Eddie calls out.

"So could I," she calls back to him. Eddie quickly climbs over to where she is. He sees two women, one pinned underneath a huge slab of concrete, one with a leg so badly broken that he doesn't know if they'll be able to save it.

Eddie reaches up for his radio. "Captain, we're going to need more hands down here. We have four survivors so far, all in pretty bad shape. Possible spinal injuries on at least two."

"Copy that," the radio crackles back. "Another team is en route, I'll send down some more as soon as possible."

The three firefighters decide to tackle the broken leg first, then the other woman with them. As Eddie and Martha get to work, she spots another firefighter being lowered down to help them. "Nate, we've got this. You go help the people in the car."

Nate disappeares, and Eddie glances up to see a paramedic heading to help him. He snaps his focus back to the task at hand.

"What's your name?" he hears Martha ask the woman next to him.

"Chelsea."

"Chelsea, I'm Martha, and this is Eddie. Your leg is broken, and we're going to try to fix this but it's going to hurt like hell. Okay?"

Chelsea nods.

Martha straightens out the leg. Chelsea screams. Eddie tries not to think about that time Buck got pinned under the ladder truck.

"On my count," he hears Martha say. "One, two, three." They lift Chelsea onto a board and carry it to the winch harness. With Chelsea on her way to safety, they head back to the woman pinned under the concrete.

Eddie hears Martha say to one of the other paramedics in passing, "Hey, we could use a hand over here," but he doesn't pay much attention to it. If he doesn't stay focused, he'll start thinking about Buck and the ladder truck again and-

"Eddie?"

Eddie snaps back to the present. He sees another person standing next to Martha. "I think the three of us should be able to do this," he says. "Two to lift and..." he trails off when he realizes who is standing next to Martha.

"Hey, Chimney."

Chimney stares at Eddie for a few seconds, then says, "So who's lifting and who's pulling?"

Martha glances between the two men. "Eddie, you lift with me."

"That leaves me pulling," Chimney said, already moving into position. He shoots another glance at Eddie before focusing his attention on the pinned woman. 

"Ma'am, can you hear me?" he asks.

"Yeah," a voice drifts out from under the concrete slab.

"I'm Chimney. We're going to get you out of here, okay? What's your name?"

"Jennifer."

"Alright, Jennifer. This will probably hurt, but we have to get you out of here," Chimney continues.

"Okay," she replies.

"On my count. One, two, three." Eddie and Marths lift. Chimney pulls Jennifer out of the wreckage. He checks her over, but amazingly she's pretty okay. Just some cuts and bruises and a sprained shoulder. Martha walks her over to the harness to lift her up out of the wreckage. 

Chimney looks at Eddie. "So," he says.

Eddie cuts him off. "Now definitely isn't the time, Chim," he snaps. "Let's see if those two need any help." Eddie walks away, leaving Chimnry staring at his back. 

This is going to suck.

*****

Buck and Rachel helped Hen back up the ledge and lowered the harness back down for the next person. Hen smiled at Buck, but it didn't reach her eyes. "You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, just exhausted," she replied. Buck didn't quite believe her, but he didn't have time to dwell on it because the next person was ready to come up.

When he got to the top, Chim looked at Rachel and said, "It's just one more of your guys down there. You got it?"

Buck tried to interject, but Rachel answered quickly, "Yeah, of course." She looked at Buck. "It was nice to meet you. Hopefully next time it won't be a freaking natural disaster," she laughed. 

Chimney took Buck by the arm and lead him away from the edge and back to their trucks. 

"Chim, I can handle this!" Buck complained. "Why are you pulling me away from the one fucking job I'm allowed to do!"

Chim stopped next to the truck and turned around. "Sorry, Buck," he said. "I overstepped. I just..."

"What?"

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

*****

When they got back to the station, Chimney stopped Bobby when he got out of the truck. "Cap, I think we need to talk," he said. 

Hen looked at them from across the room where she stood next to Buck. "I think I need to be part of this conversation too," she said. Chimney nodded in agreement.

If any hint of emotion flickered across Bobby's face in that moment, Buck didn't notice it. "In my office," Bobby responded, and the three of them walked off together. Buck got to work reorganizing their supplies and tools.

*****

As soon as the door closed behind them, Chimney blurted out his question. "Did you know?"

"Did I know what, Chimney?"

"Did you know that Eddie is still in Los Angeles?"

Bobby didn't answer.

"Cap, your silence isn't very comforting," Hen said, crossing her arms.

"Yes. I knew. I'm the one that signed his transfer papers"

"So you lied to us?" Chimney asked.

"I'm sorry," Bobby said. Suddenly, he tensed up. "Did Buck see him today?"

"No," Chimney answered, "but we did. Did you stop to think about how that would affect us?"

"He barely acknowledged me," Hen said. "He certainly wasn't acting like himself."

"He went through a traumatic event-"

"Cap, with all due respect," Hen interrupted, "that's not what this is about. Yes, Eddie and Buck went through a very traumatic experience. Eddie may not have been physically damaged, but it's pretty clear to me that he was emotionally damaged. He was barely acting like a shell of a person today."

Bobby looked down at his desk. 

"Why did he leave, Cap?" Chimney asked quietly. 

"The 127 needed some extra people for a temporary reassignment, and I asked Eddie if he was interested. He said yes, and I didn't question it. I just got the paperwork ready and let him go," Bobby answered. 

Hen and Chimney didn't respond.

"Now, do you have anything else to say?"

They shook their heads. 

"Then we can table this discussion for another day." Bobby left the office. 

"I can't believe he would just leave like that," Chimney said.

"Me either," Hen replied.

*****

"Buck, I need to talk to you."

Buck turned to see Bobby walking toward him. "Okay, Cap," he said. "What's this about?"

"Why don't you sit down."

He did. Bobby followed. Buck frowned and stared at Bobby, waiting for him to speak.

"It's about Eddie," Bobby said.

Buck's eyes almost lit up when he heard the name. "Is he coming back?" he asked hesitantly. 

"Actually, Buck, he never left."

"What are you talking about?"

"Eddie transferred to a different station a few months ago," Bobby said. "He's still with LAFD."

The look of betrayal on Buck's face cut straight through to Bobby's heart.

"Why did he leave?" Buck asked.

"A different station needed a temporary reassignment, and I offered to send someone."

"Yeah, but... but why him? Why Eddie?"

"Because he was the first person I mentioned it to," Bobby answered. Buck wouldn't meet his eyes as he spoke.

"Did he ask?"

"Did he ask what?"

"To leave? Did he ask to leave?"

"Buck-"

"Forget it, Cap." Buck stormed off toward the locker room, leaving the captain behind.


	2. We're strangers in different places

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first thing Eddie noticed was that his locker was still there waiting for him.
> 
> The second thing Eddie noticed was Chimney glaring at him. 
> 
> The third thing Eddie noticed was Hen's emotionless face. 
> 
> The fourth thing Eddie noticed was Buck leaning against the railing. 
> 
> The fifth thing Eddie noticed was the confusion and hurt on Buck's face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from "Love's to Blame" by for King & Country

Unfortunately for Eddie, he was at station 127 temporarily, and they wouldn't be needing him there anymore in a week. 

"I was going to talk with you about this anyway, you just beat me to it. You're going back to station 118. I'm filing your transfer paperwork, you'll start back there Monday morning," Captain Ames said.

"That's not what I was ask-"

"Thank you, Diaz."

Monday morning came far too quickly. 

*****

The first thing Eddie noticed was that his locker was still there waiting for him.

The second thing Eddie noticed was Chimney glaring at him. 

The third thing Eddie noticed was Hen's emotionless face. 

The fourth thing Eddie noticed was Buck leaning against the railing. 

Buck didn't see him. 

"Hey, guys." 

Now Buck saw him.

"Eddie?"

The fifth thing Eddie noticed was the confusion and hurt on Buck's face.

"Hi, Buck."

If Eddie was expecting Buck and Hen and Chim to run up and embrace him, he didn't get that. Not that he deserved it, of course.

The alarm went off.

Bobby appeared out of nowhere. "Buck, you're the man behind today," he said. "Eddie, there's some paperwork for you to fill out on my desk, you can join us for the next call."

And in seconds, everyone was gone. 

Eddie took his time changing into his uniform and filling out the paperwork. But even stretching it out, only twelve minutes had passed. It probably could have waited. Maybe Bobby is mad at him too.

Eddie walked into the kitchen and poured himself some coffee. He glanced down at Buck, who was organizing some equipment. He drank the coffee quickly and went to help him.

"How are you doing?" Eddie asked quietly.

Buck stopped and stared at him. "You left," he said, like that answered the question.

 _I guess it does_ he thought.

"Yeah. I did." Eddie tried to be very interested in his work. Organizing... yeah, he didn't even know what he was looking at. He couldn't focus.

They stayed silent for a couple of minutes.

Six months ago, a lull in conversation with Buck was fine. Now it was just awkward.

"I missed you." Buck was the one who broke the silence.

"I missed you too," Eddie replied.

"Then what... I just don't... DAMMIT!" Buck slammed his fist against the wall. "Why did you leave?"

"The 127 needed a temp-"

"But you _ignored_ me! You _lied_ to me! You said you were going to Texas to be with your family. You were still in LA," Buck argued. "I could have still seen you and Chris, or you could have called me once in a while, or something, but you didn't!"

Eddie didn't respond. How could he? Buck wasn't wrong.

Buck stared at the floor and asked quietly, "Did you still talk to anyone else? From here?"

Eddie glanced at his friend. "No, I didn't."

"But why?"

"I don't know, Buck."

*****

But he knew.

Eddie knew exactly why he had stayed away.

He just didn't want to admit it.

And he didn't. Not until Maddie.

There was a barbecue at Bobby and Athena's house. Everyone was there, including Eddie. Chris immediately attached himself to Buck's side and couldn't be persuaded to be anywhere else. Buck didn't even try to get Chris to go anywhere else. Bobby and Athena, and Karen, briefly, were the only people talking to Eddie.

Then Maddie walked over to him. The pair stood on the back porch, watching Buck with Christopher.

"You know, he's actually been doing really well," Maddie said.

Eddie nodded, not trusting his voice.

"I used to be a nurse, you know."

He nodded again.

"I'm watching his progress, and honestly? In my opinion? The only thing that makes him worse is you."

Eddie nodded again. He didn't want to admit it, but...

"I know, Maddie," he finally said, forcing himself to look away from his best friend and his son and look at her. She met his gaze. "Why do you think I left?"

Before Maddie could respond, Eddie turned around and went back inside.

*****

Buck sat across from Frank. It’s not that therapy was bad. It was good. Important. And Frank was great. It’s just… now that Buck struggled with talking… 

“He lied.”

“Who lied?” Frank asked.

“Eddie. He lied. He said he was going to visit his sister for a while, but he didn’t,” Buck explained.

“How do you feel about it?”

Buck thought for a moment. “Sad. But shouldn’t I be mad? Not sad?”

Frank shook his head. “Emotions are complicated. What’s important isn’t whether or not you have the ‘right’ emotions, but rather what you do with the emotions that you do have.”

Buck nodded.

“I think you need to talk to Eddie about how you feel.”

Buck shook his head. “I did that. And he left.”

“You experienced something traumatic, Buck. Nobody expects you to heal from that overnight. And that includes Eddie. You don’t have to talk to him about your feelings for him, but I think you need to talk to him about your feelings about him. You won’t be able to move forward until you do.”

“Okay.”

*****

Eddie wasn't planning on keeping in touch with anyone from the 127, but after a week of indifference from his former friends, he needed to talk to someone. So he messaged Rachel.

She wasn't family, but at least she would talk to him.

They met up for coffee the next morning after Eddie dropped Chris off at school.

They sat at a table outside the coffee shop. A couple of minutes passed before Rachel broke the silence. "What's going on?"

Eddie sighed. "I messed up. When I transferred, I cut off everyone. And now I'm back but nobody will talk to me."

"It was four months! You really didn't keep in contact at all?"

"I couldn't. If I kept up with Hen or Chim or Bobby, then Buck would inevitably find out that I was avoiding talking to him, and honestly that would hurt even more."

"Buck? Like Buckley?" Rachel asked.

Eddie snapped his head up. "Wait. You know Buck?"

Rachel shook her head. "Sort of. We met back at the bridge. He was assigned to take over Mathis helping me." She narrowed her eyes slightly. "He told me a little bit about what happened a few months ago, and how he's finally being allowed to work again."

"What exactly did he say?"

"He said that he was trapped in a life or death situation with his best friend. Only one of them could make it out, so he made sure the other guy made it out because he had a son waiting for him at home. He ended up with some major brain trauma from it," Rachel said.

"That's all he said?"

"He said that he confessed his feelings for his friend and that the guy left because of it."

"That's not-" Eddie cut himself off and took a few calming breaths.

Rachel's face lit up in understanding. "You were the one with him, weren't you?" she asked.

Eddie nodded. "Yes," he whispered. "But that's not why I left."

"Then why did you leave?"

"He needed to get better. The brain damage was bad. He needed to relearn speaking and motor skills. I tried to help him, but he wasn't making enough improvement. He was depending on me too much. So I left, to give him some independence."

"Okay," Rachel nodded. "And... before all that... how long were the two of you a Thing?"

"What? We weren't a Thing!" Eddie sputtered.

Rachel raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, he's my best friend. More than that, really. He's been the one person that I could count on since I met him. He's done everything he possibly could to help me with whatever I needed. He searched for hours while bleeding out to find Christopher after the tsunami. I hate not having him in my life. I don't want to even imagine my life without him! But it's my fault that he got hurt. I'm not good for him. So, I left."

Rachel gave him a soft smile. "Eddie, I think you need to talk to him."

Eddie snorted, "Yeah, like that's going to go over very well."

"It can't make things worse, right?"

Eddie stared intently at his empty cup. "Six months ago? I would have agreed with you. But I don't know anymore."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full disclosure, I've never been to therapy. I probably should, but that's a different conversation. I have no idea if what I wrote about Buck's conversation with Frank is realistic or not. If it's not, just... suspension of disbelief?


	3. I wanna tell you everything if it's not too late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie took a deep breath and started, "Listen, Buck, there's someth-"
> 
> "Can I go first? Please?" Buck interrupted. Eddie nodded. "I know you're trying, and I'm trying, but this isn't working."
> 
> "Buck-"
> 
> "I'm going to ask Cap to switch my shifts so that we won't be together. I'll still come see Chris if you'll let me, but I can't work with you right now.
> 
> "Buck, you can-" Eddie sputtered. "You can always see Christopher. Just... i don't understand. Why? Why do you want to switch? "
> 
> "I'm too sad and mad about you leaving like you did. I can be your friend or I can be your partner, but I can't be both right now. And Chris matters the most... I think it's for the best."
> 
> Eddie didn't know how to respond, so he just blinked back his tears. 
> 
> "What did you want to talk about, Eddie?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from "People Change" by for King & Country

Eddie was trying.

Buck was trying. 

But repairing a broken relationship is never that simple.

"What am I supposed to do, Buck!? I'm trying not to treat you any differently!" Eddie snapped.

"But I am different now!" Buck snapped back. "I still have trouble with words sometimes. I'm still relearning some things!"

Eddie took a few calming breaths. "I'm sorry," he replied.

"Yeah, I know you're sorry. You keep saying that you're sorry, but... I needed you. And..." Buck trailed off.

"What do you want me to do?"

"I needed you."

"What do you need now?"

"Can I come over for movie night tonight?" Buck asked.

"Of course you can," Eddie replied. "You're always welcome."

Buck may not believe it yet, but Eddie needed him to know.

*****

"BUCK!" Christopher shouted as soon as Buck walked in the door. 

"Hey, buddy," Buck said, his smile lighting up his whole face as Christopher practically threw himself at Buck.

"Can we watch Toy Story?" Chris asked.

"That's a good idea, Chris," Buck answered.

The pair sat down on the couch while Eddie brought popcorn in from the kitchen. He sat down next to Christopher and started the movie.

It was nice. 

Christopher fell asleep while they were watching Toy Story 2, right around the time Buzz got left behind at the toy store. Eddie paused the movie. "I'm going to put Chris to bed," he whispered. "Don't leave, okay? I want to talk to you about something."

"Me too. I won't leave."

"Okay, good."

When Eddie got back, Buck was still there. _That's a good sign_ , Eddie thought. He took a deep breath and started, "Listen, Buck, there's someth-"

"Can I go first? Please?" Buck interrupted. "I have the words in my head right now." Eddie nodded. "Okay, so I know you're trying, and I'm trying, but this isn't working."

"Buck-"

<"I'm going to ask Cap to switch my shifts so that we won't be together. I'll still come see Chris if you'll let me, but I can't work with you right now."

"Buck, you can-" Eddie sputtered. "You can always see Christopher. Just... i don't understand. Why? Why do you want to switch? "

"I'm too sad and mad about you leaving like you did. I can be your friend or I can be your partner, but I can't be both right now. And Chris matters the most... I think it's for the best."

Eddie didn't know how to respond, so he just blinked back his tears. 

"What did you want to talk about, Eddie?"

Buck paused, watching Eddie, waiting for him to say something.

"Nevermind, Buck."

Buck was silent for a long minute. 

"Okay. Good night."

As Buck got up and walked away, Eddie stared after him, tears gathering in his eyes. As soon as the front door closed, he let the tears fall. He never meant to push Buck away. He just didn't know how to fix this.

*****

Three more weeks passed.

Three weeks without Buck by his side.

He still saw Buck occasionally. Since Hen and Chimney weren't ignoring him anymore, he got invited to things more often. Buck still spent time with Chris, sometimes with Eddie too. But it wasn't the same.

He missed his best friend.

Three weeks is a long time to be without your best friend.

Sure, the four months was longer, but it doesn't feel the same. Eddie was sure he was doing the right thing during those four months. Now he's sure he's doing something wrong and can't figure out how to fix it.

But how can you fix a relationship with a person who refuses to talk to you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short and I'm not thrilled with it, but life is hectic and writer's block is a bitch. I hope y'all still enjoyed it though.


	4. And if you need a refuge I will be right here until the end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie found Buck in the locker room putting on his uniform. Buck's back was turned to him.
> 
> "Do you have a minute?" Eddie asked from right inside the doorway.
> 
> "Depends on the alarm," Buck answered, not turning around.
> 
> "Because... when I saw Athena with Bobby just now, and I thought about..." Eddie hesitated for a second before finishing the thought. "I realized that we never talked about what you said to me at the bottom of the ocean."
> 
> Buck finally turned around. "Now?" he asked. "You want to talk about this now?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from "Burn the Ships" by for King & Country

Eddie had to switch shifts because of Christopher's parent-teacher conferences. Which, coincidentally, meant that he was on a shift with Buck again.

The shift was horrible. The calls themselves weren't bad, but it wasn't his team. Sure, Eddie and Buck worked together almost perfectly in sync like they always had before. But he didn't really know anyone else that well. And Buck only talked to him about the job. Nothing more. 

Their fifth call was a mess. The building was old, and not up to code. The fire was burning through it quickly. Buck and Eddie went in to do a sweep of the building. They were on the second floor when Buck got distracted.

"Did you hear that?" he asked. 

"I didn't hear anything."

"I think there's someone up there." Buck pointed ahead of them, toward a door about 20 feet away. He ran to the door. 

Or at least, he tried to. 

Before Buck could take a second step, Eddie grabbed him around the waist and pulled him back. Eddie landed on the floor with Buck half sitting, half laying on top of him.

The floor where Buck had intended to walk was gone.

"Diaz, Buckley, do you copy?" a voice crackled through their radios.

Eddie reached up for his radio. "This is Diaz. We're alright."

"Everyone from inside the building has been accounted for," the voice crackled again. "You need to get out of there."

"Copy that," Eddie responded as Buck picked himself up. Buck reached down to help Eddie to his feet.

"I'm pretty sure I heard something from over there," Buck said.

Eddie nodded. "So let's quickly check and get out of here," he replied.

"You're not... you're not going to... to... to make me leave?" Buck asked.

Eddie shook his head. "I know you wouldn't ever forgive yourself if you don't check. And I'm not leaving you. So let's check and get out of here."

Buck smiled at him. _It's a start._

*****

"Buck, I really need to talk to you about something."

"Eddie, not-"

"I know you don't want to talk to me right now, and I don't blame you for that, but it's _important_. You don't have to say anything, but I really need to say this and I need you to hear it."

Buck nodded and sat down on the couch. "Go ahead."

"Working with you again today has been nice. We always made a great team, Buck," Eddie said. "I'm sorry I left. Just, seeing you hurting because of me was too much. I wanted you to get better, but I didn't know how to help. So... I left. And I took Chris away too, and I know there aren't enough apologies in the world to make up for it, Buck, but I really am sorry."

"I forgive you."

Thr alarm rang.

*****

"Hey, Eddie?"

"Yeah, Buck?"

"Would you be okay with me switching back to working with you?"

"Of course I would. I miss my best friend."

"I miss you too."

Eddie smiled. Buck smiled back.

The alarm rang.

"I'm gonna talk to Cap about it," Buck said while they jogged to the truck.

*****

Another week came and went.

Buck came over to the Diaz house twice that week.

He slept over on Eddie's couch on Friday night.

He FaceTimed with Chris on days that he wasn't there.

Things were almost back to normal.

*****

It was Buck's first day back on shift with his team. With his family. With Eddie.

Athena stopped by the firehouse that morning. 

"What are you doing here, Thena?" Hen asked, smiling at her friend.

Athena smiled back. "I'm just here to say good morning to my husband," she said. She walked up the stairs into the kitchen where Bobby was cooking breakfast. She slid in behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her cheek against his back.

"Good morning, my love," Bobby said. 

Athena smiled before pulling back and reaching up to give him a kiss. "It is now."

Hen and Eddie watched the exchange from across the room. Hen had a fond smile on her face. Eddie had a million thoughts running through his head, but the loudest one was simply screaming _Go talk to Buck_.

Eddie found Buck in the locker room putting on his uniform. Buck's back was turned to him.

"Do you have a minute?" Eddie asked from right inside the doorway.

"Depends on the alarm," Buck answered, not turning around.

"Because... when I saw Athena with Bobby just now, and I thought about..." Eddie hesitated for a second before finishing the thought. _There's no backing out now._ "I realized that we never talked about what you said to me at the bottom of the ocean."

Buck finally turned around. "Now?" he asked. "You want to talk about this now?"

"Oh, uh, no, no, it's just..." Eddie stammered, but he forced himself to continue. "It just... it means a lot to me that we're friends again, and I thought that maybe... we could, you know, talk about it."

Buck sighed as he began to leave the locker room. "There's nothing to discuss, Eddie."

Eddie caught Buck's hand as he walked past, brining him to a pause. "Maybe there is."

When Buck saw the hope in Eddie's eyes, his own eyes widened in surprise and the corners of his mouth turned up in a small smile. He stared to lean in-

The alarm rang.

Eddie let go of Buck's hand, and they jogged to the trucks. They had a job to do, after all.

*****

Fortunately, the call was easy and the next several hours went by quietly. 

Buck and Eddie were in the gym. When Eddie moved from the weights to the punching bag, Buck followed him. "So I was thinking about dinner," he said.

"What about dinner?" Eddie asked as he grabbed the gloves.

"I wanted to know if you wanted dinner."

"Yeah, of course, Bobby's probably working on it right now."

"No, that's not-" Buck took a breath and tried again. "I meant, maybe you and I could go get dinner. You know, just us. Someplace nice."

Eddie fumbled and dropped the glove he was putting on and stared at Buck. "Like a date?"

Buck smiled. "Yeah. Like a date."

Eddie smiled back. "I'd like that," he said.

"I'll make a reservation for tomorrow night," Buck replied. "8 o'clock?"

"It's a date," Eddie grinned as he started punching the bag. 

_Maybe we'll be okay after all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end of this installment. I'm pretty sure part 3 will be coming eventually, just probably not any time in the near future. Like I said before, life is hectic.
> 
> That being said, I have two directions that I could take part 3. When the time comes, should I do the one that's kind of angsty or the one that's really angsty?


End file.
